Friday, February 26, 2010

The Hardest Part

A friend recently asked me what the hardest part of having my boys is. I hadn't really thought about it before, but it was an easy answer: friends.

You see, most of our friends around here don't yet have kids and when they plan any sort of get-together it starts at 7:00 or 8:00 in the evening. The boys go to bed at 7:30. No problem, just get a babysitter, right? Well, our babysitters are all also invited to the get-togthers, so they're either already going or have something else going on. Plus, if someone sees me without a baby, the first thing they ask is, "Where are the kids?" and then they seem disappointed if the boys aren't around. People are always much more excited to see the boys, and I can't blame them, I have awesome kids! It would just be nice for someone to want to hang out with me every once in a while.

So how about just hanging out during the day? Well, most of my friends have jobs and/or classes. Then when it's their lunchtime, it's our naptime, so meeting friends for lunch isn't really doable at this point.

If hanging out with those friends doesn't work out, how about hanging out with friends who have kids? Well, I do, but it's very difficult to finish a conversation because there's always a little one who wants a drink, snack, fresh diaper, attention, to leave, or to just be all up in whatever we're doing. I can get together with another mommy friend and have no idea what's been going on in her life because of all the interruptions. Often those hang-out times are limited to about an hour if we're lucky because not only do we need to accommodate meals and naps, the boys tend to coordinate their poops right before I try to go anywhere with them, so it always takes longer to leave than I anticipate.

I know loading the kids up to go out will be easier when the weather's nice and I don't have to bundle them up and when we just get quicker with practice. I also know that it'll get easier to hang out and actually finish conversations with friends when the boys get older and can better entertain each other and really play with other kids rather than just alongside other kids. It already is starting to get a little easier, and it's so much fun to watch my boys play and learn and grow. And Simon is starting to play with other kids a little and Jonas enjoys watching. But my friend had asked what the hardest part is, and the hardest part is feeling forgotten by friends.


emery1219 said...

i think every day of how much i want kids but rarely of how it will impact my everyday life, even though i know it will. you seem to do really well with the tough job God has given you - i applaud you for the mommy balancing act. :)

Keli B. said...

i wish we lived near each other! maybe someday we will again.