Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Gross Poop Story

Seriously, this is a gross story about poop. You have been twice warned...

Saturday morning I awoke to find the boys playing happily in their room with some little white things strewn about between their beds. At first I thought it was toilet paper, but Simon told me it was "tastey" and he doesn't eat toilet paper (though Jonas might). As I got closer I could smell a minty scent. Then I realized that white stuff was gum. I had half a pack left in my purse and they had turned some into gum confetti and had a little celebration in their room while eating the rest.

I figured they hadn't actually ingested that much, maybe a stick or two each (it was Orbitz, which is small anyway), so there wasn't a need to take them in to prompt care. They'd probably just be a little constipated and then it would come out in a few days.

Fast forward to last night (Tuesday).

Simon pooped his pull-ups and as I was wiping him I noticed something hanging out of his booty. I about freaked at first because it was almost flesh-colored and sort of bulbous. I thought he either had a gigantic roid or something was terribly, terribly wrong with his pooper. Oh, the things that were going through my head! I was going to call Chase at work and get him to rush home so he could take him to prompt care and then I'd meet him there once we found someone to stay with Jonas.

Then I remembered the gum incident and thought maybe, just maybe, it was the gum. I grabbed the bulbous nastiness with the wipe and Sime didn't seem in pain. I gently pulled and couldn't get it off. I asked Simon if it hurt and he said, "Yes," but he didn't act like it (and if he is in the tiniest amount of pain he makes sure you know!). So I grabbed it again with the wipe and yanked pulling out twice as much gooey nastiness as I thought was there.

I'm 99% sure it was two to three sticks of gum.


Keli B. said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i laughed out loud. it's gross. it's hilarious. what's not to love about this gross poop story!?

sarah said...

the emerys are learning a lot from your blogs about raising boys. :) hahahahaha. i can't stop laughing.