Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Funnier in Retrospect OR A Laugh at My Expense

It's funnier in retrospect, but I was not amused at the time... "What?" you ask? Simon pooping on his toys.

That's right, Friday morning Simon pooped on some of his toys. And, no, he did not dump in his dump truck (although he did pee on a bulldozer). It was one of those mornings where I was extra tired and camped out on the couch kinda dozing while the boys played and watched some TV. Yes, I sometimes use TV as a babysitter, go ahead and judge me and make yourself feel superior; if you were pregnant and also had a clingy 18 month old and a 2.5 year old who regularly screamed in the middle of the night and got up waaaaaay too early, you'd have TV days as well... or you have a nanny or can ship the kids off to their grandparents' for the day...

Anyway, I had just started feeling well enough to get up off the couch and do something productive when I realized the boys were playing a little too quietly together in their room. Anyone with kids can tell you that other than bedtime and naptime, too quiet equals bad news. As soon as I walked into the boys' room Simon hid. There was a mess, but their room didn't seem too messy. And Jonas was just sitting on the floor playing with some stuffed animals... Then I smelled it... POOP! My initial thought was that Jonas pooped in his diaper (because in our house, if anyone poops, Jonas will also poop not wanting to be outdone). I checked, no poops in his diaper. Simon's been going pantsless around the house to make it easier for him to use the potty by himself, so I knew there was no poop in his pants... and that there must be a turd somewhere in the room! The search began.

I asked Simon if he pooped. First he said no but then quickly recanted. I asked him where and he pointed to the area between his Bounce-n-Spin Zebra and their chest of drawers. He had stacked his puzzle rack (with puzzles still in it) on top of a container for their zoo toys. On the very top puzzle was a turd! Why did he poop there? How did he poop there? Then I noticed another turd in the bear cave of their zoo toy. OK, how did he do that? It turned out that he had stacked the puzzles on the zoo container to stand on and reach something on top of the chest of drawers. While he was standing and reaching he must have just let the turds fly as he grabbed the object of his interest (a piece to one of his Matchbox cars). One turd landed on the puzzle and the other landed in the zoo which had fallen over at just the right angle to catch some poo in the bear cave.

Oh, I was livid. I made Simon watch me clean it up and then put the all the zoo pieces and puzzles in the garage. (Oh, and in the course of cleaning the poop, Jonas got into the toilet bowl cleaner. Thankfully, I was able to yank it out of his hands just as he was about to shove it into his mouth!) The rule is if Simon pees or poops on his toys, they are going into the garage until he can go on the potty and treat his toys properly. As I was gathering the rest of the puzzles I saw a puddle of pee on and around his bulldozer toy, which was about three feet from where the turds were. So not only did he poop on some toys, he went over either before or after to pee on another. After a cleaning, that toy also went to the garage.

The kid has bladder and bowel control, he just does not want to go on the potty. Well, he'll tell me he wants to be a big boy and that he wants to pee and poop on the potty and get a treat (always emphasizing the treat part), but he doesn't actually do it. He'd much rather crouch in a corner to poop or let it fly as he's running across the room (something he also did last week). Maybe he'd be more keen to the potty stuff if Jonas were to pee & poop on the potty, too. As obsessed as Jonas is with the potty right now (seriously, if he hears the word "potty" or he sees Simon pee on the potty, Jonas will dart over and act like he's peeing and pooping on the potty!) and as crazy as I feel, I just might try that. I mean, I'm already cleaning pee & poop up all the time as it is, so why not?

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