Jonas, the younger- age 1, is systematically making his way around the duplex and ripping off every doorstop he can find. He's had two successes so far and several interruptions. His crib is covered in bite marks. Forget about dust covers for books, you might as well just throw those away before allowing that book to cross his path. Any paper object is ripped to shreds and/or eaten by this guy.
Simon, the older- age 2, isn't quite as disastrous around the house unless he's in cahoots with Jonas. His destructive skills are best displayed when we're grocery shopping. He rips open boxes and chews tags off any item I let him hold in the cart; but today, oh today, he made me simultaneously angrier at him than I've ever been on a shopping trip and want to crack up laughing... Today as I was checking out some multi-surface cleaner I hear, "Mmmmm! Yummy hotdogs!" from the basket of the cart. Simon had eaten a hole through the plastic packaging and bit a chunk out of some kielbasa. Of course this was after I'd told him five times to take it out of his mouth. I think I had to tell him to take 50% of the items in the cart out of his mouth at one point or another. On top of that, somewhere between the cash register and our refrigerator we lost a gallon of milk. I don't know if the bagger didn't load it in the cart or if I didn't get it from the cart to the van. Either way, I can't ever fully pay attention because I'm too busy wrangling the
I think they're going to end up destroying me soon... or at least my sanity.
***UPDATE 5:00 pm***
This late afternoon Destroyer Simon unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper (with Jonas' encouragement), got a time-out for it, and when asked if he's allowed to mess with the toilet paper he said, "Yesh." I tell him he's not allowed to touch it til he pees & poops on the potty by himself.
Also, together the boys unscrewed at least one bolt from our dining table and Simon was happily munching on it. I guess we'll eventually find out if Jonas ate one...
But Chase & I do get a kid-free dinner tonight! Hooray for babysitters and Houlihan's free birthday entrée coupons! (Seriously, join their email club and they'll email you a coupon for a free entrée, any entrée, for your birthday!)