Yesterday I turned 29. And the day before my mom turned 29 for the **th time. My mom's been turning 29 every year since I was a kid. Me turning 29 means Chase has approximately one year to pick out coffee for me.
What? That doesn't make sense to you? I guess I should explain. A couple years ago (or maybe one year, I really don't remember) I told Chase that when I turn 30, I was going to try coffee again. Why 30? For some reason in my mind that's some magical age where you're officially a grown-up. You're supposed to go out and have lots of fun when you're in your 20's, but when you turn 30 you have to grow up. I got a jump start on the whole having babies, but nowadays 30 is when you start getting serious about having kids and all that stuff. I guess I learned that from MTV or something... That's what is supposed to happen, that is, unless you're on Teen Mom.
So back to the coffee. Coffee is for grown-ups. Generally, kids don't like coffee. Kids and me. I hate, no, loathe coffee. I'm not even one of those "I love the smell but not the taste" types. I can hardly stand the smell of coffee. When I was pregnant with Jonas, I daily mistook the smell of Chase's coffee for the smell of Simon's poopy diapers. Seriously, every morning when I smelled Chase's coffee with my crazy pregnant nose, I checked Simon's diaper for poop. And there were multiple occasions when I was pregnant with Charlotte that I went to the bathroom to dry heave because of that coffee smell. Yeah, I loathe coffee, but Chase loves.
But I'm still in my 20's. Maybe when I turn 30 I'll have that grown-up acquired taste for coffee much like one must have an acquired taste for beer, at least that's what my dad told me about beer when I was a kid. I can remember asking him for a drink of his Bud Light as we all sat around watching Tales from the Crypt on TV with our pirated cable. I'm not sure how old I was, but I'm guessing between the ages of 6 and 10 (like my sons, I loved all things scary & Halloween-ish from an early age). Knowing I'd hate it, my dad told me to open my mouth as I was laying on the floor and he'd pour some in. He did and I hated it. I told him it was gross to which he replied it was an "acquired taste." Then my mom had to explain what that meant and I think her explanation was something like you had to taste it a bunch before you liked it. So I figured I just had to taste it a few more times and then I'd like beer and every once in a while I'd ask my dad for a drink of his Bud Light (as we watched more Tales from the Crypt or one of the Hellraiser or Puppet Master movies, I'm sure). He'd tell me I didn't like it to which I'd respond that I'd acquired the taste and would like it this time. I think he got a kick out of the whole thing because he'd always give me a taste and I never acquired the the taste. I say "always" and really it could have been 3 or 4 times or something. It's been years since I've had beer and as of the last time I'd tried it, I still hadn't really acquired the taste (though I did have an odd random craving for it once while I was pregnant with Charlotte...).
In a lot of ways, I think beer and coffee are alike. You have to have an acquired taste. People like to drink both socially. There are even entire establishments for both. Both coffee and beer can get you buzzed. People will shoot you dirty looks if you drink either while pregnant or breastfeeding. There's a cool factor for drinking either. Both can easily end up being expensive drinking habits. And there are more, I'm sure.
I sometimes feel left out of the coffee club. (Having 3 small children means I'm too tired to care about fitting in on the beer scene.) Other young moms "just need that morning cup of coffee to get through the day" when their small children are up at 5:00 AM (thankfully, our kids have been sleeping past 6:30 most mornings lately, and since I get up with Charlotte overnight Chase gets up with the boys in the morning). Friends like to catch-up over a cup of coffee and just hang out at coffee shops using their wifi. I'd much rather have a Pepsi and catch-up over some chocolate chip cookies, personally. Why isn't that a thing?
Since I'm growing up and want to fit in with the grown-ups and pretend that I'm a cool mom in my mom jeans and it's inappropriate to bring small children to a bar but it's fine to bring them to a coffee shop and this is a long run-on sentence and my 8th-9th grade advanced English teacher taught me proper grammar and I need to stop this sentence now, I'm going to try coffee when I turn 30. Since Chase loves coffee so much and knows what kinds of things I do like, he gets to pick out what coffee I try and maybe even like... That is, unless I have that condition my mom has and turn 29 every year for the rest of my life.